Why Formula 4 Parenting?

The Formula 4 Parenting Decision Tree has been designed to support the natural, on-going process of interaction that occurs in all families between parents and children. It is concerned with the everyday decision making in family life. Its purpose is to help, where appropriate, equalise power within the family situation.

The Decision Tree aims to make it clear that children’s participation in family decision-making should always be on the parent’s ‘radar screen’. This might range from children simply telling their parents what they know, having their views taken into account, sharing power through to being given responsibility for the decision making itself.

The Parenting Decision Tree can become a pivot to help balance the inevitable tension between the need for parents to be in control and the need for children to experience greater autonomy and self-realisation. Thus, there are times when decisions have to be made for children by their parents, but there are other times when children can be given license to make decisions for themselves. Parents need to find the balance between the two and the Decision Tree enables them to do this.

What the Decision Tree does is to offer parents and carers some idea about when and how to be flexible. For example, some parents who tend to be more directive might be unsure about how to be different. The Decision Tree can help them in this, and so help their children grow and develop from their probably overly compliant state.

Finally, we cannot ignore the benefit that comes from parents who make their use of the Decision Tree transparent. When used in collaboration with a more mature child it will teach them, in turn, how to be more adaptable in their behaviour to others.